When I went to title this, I originally wrote breaththrough, which might be telling.
Taking a deep breath and going through!
So, the other night while I once again couldn’t sleep (after my last pregnancy I have a hard time falling asleep without the intervention of either melatonin or benedryll in some form. it’s very annoying, and something I’m trying to work on. but, then I have late nights), I had a breakthrough.
I’m laying there in bed, writing blog post after blog post mentally, and I came to a realization about something that has been holding my writing back: I have been taught that I mustn’t get too big for my britches.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I cannot think of a time where someone told me that outright. My parents certainly did not. But, it is an insidious thought that seems to permeate our culture here in the upper Midwest. Anytime anyone starts getting successful, there is always a time of abated breath until they mess up, then people knowingly nod, convinced of their rightness that it was too good to be true.
And let me ask you this, how many big name bloggers do you know of that come from Minnesota (that aren’t from the Twin Cities) or the Dakotas? I literally cannot think of any.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I know of lots of women who blog, but they aren’t big names. They are small little family blogs. Why?
Are we not taught to write? Are we not just as good of writers as some of those who have made it big? Sure, we aren’t centered in cultural meccas, but we are no different than the millions of other people who make up America’s Heartland. Why is becoming a name on the Internet looked at askance?
I certainly don’t run around telling all the people I know about my blog. In fact, while I sometimes link to a post here or there from my old blog, it’s mostly life updates or birth stories (who doesn’t love a good ‘she got cut open and out popped a baby’ story?).
Certainly, there are those from the generations who just have no idea why we would want to write something and post it so a stranger can comment on it. They look at me skeptically when I mention that I have a Twitter account and actually know how to use it. It’s almost a point of pride to have no connection to anyone online.
Then, there is our generation. The one of the oversharing. Who constantly get mocked and ridiculed for the dumb stuff we feel the need to say.
How can you win? Who really cares about what I have to say, with the exception of my mom and my husband?
But, here I am, putting my name out here. Do I want to be a big name blogger? Oh, the human side of me says ‘yes please!’, but from the reading I’ve done, I’m not sure it’s worth it. So, I guess for now I will just write, and see what happens.
I have some ideas of topics to keep me posting regularly, which is really all that matters about a blog. Having something to say and saying it, and posting it.
So, here I am. Posting my flag on my little corner of the Internet (you better believe that flag is one magnificent piece of purple-ness). Stay tuned to see what I do with my kingdom.